what words do- can you see
One day we’ll ascend?
When you’re too afraid you’re dead?
Like whiskers on a friend?
Like smiles on a pet?
Who’s next?
Now?
Who’s next?
Next, to ascend?
Shelter me from pain,
Don’t give me anymore just to show me I’m strong;
I need not suffer no more.
Morals tied deep with what have I done wrong?
Careful with words, only til erratic impulsive speak and say,
Nobody will remember you for your good things if you introduce yourself with neglect,
Why would you want them to see you as bad and a villain when you know you’re not.
Maybe it’s because you know people are fake and many show much too off.
Trust nobody 2 fingers in the air
You mid if you don’t believe
I cant breathe
Anxiety antiquity coming through
The veins in English
Troubled son troubled son
Triple 2s I send my prayers
And regards
My heart feels the damage
Beating off licence and janky
In a rhythm like malarky
I can’t take it even in catharsis
Was supposed to be my escape
Ended up my prison
Lack of sleep causing outbursts
Of pains and anxieties all in a days work
I cant tell if this is
What life is supposed to be like
Cant see it any other way
To me living in a shell of my former self
Aint even strange
Gaslit and blamed
Torn out and taken apart in they Rage
I self harmed for the pain
Self medicate the aches
Naproxen and codeine
Help me sleep
But they didnt help me cope
Only added more fuel to what was already there
Antibiotics in a melting pot
They gave em thinking it would help
Only made me more untrusting
Never trusted
But had to trust em
Otherwise they pinpoint u mad
And strange
I dont wanna end up
In that straight
Jacket
Looking for comfort in others
I aint felt like I got a motherly figure in my Life
Whole time full of arguments
They flip the narrative
They love to do it
See u get stronger
They cant take it
Knowing u keep getting better
My achiles heel
Aint even a tendon
I tense up when I see they name on screen or mentioned
Im scared
What can I say
I aint try deal the damage
I pray
For my self
Not anyone else
I used to but it just seems like it goes to waste
All in a days
Work
Whats it worth
Life that I live in
Troubled son troubled son
Triple 2s I send my prayers
And regards
My heart feels the damage
Beating off licence and janky
In a rhythm like malarky
I can’t take it even in catharsis
Was supposed to be my escape
Ended up my prison
Lack of sleep causing outbursts
Of pains and anxieties all in a days work
I cant tell if this is
What life is supposed to be like
Raise ur hands in a glass
Celebrate like u found the ghost of Christmas past
How death missed his ass
We need u here we need u here
I cant sleep no more
I don’t know who I am
I am lost
On drives often dozing off
Forgetting I’m here present in the moment
Not knowing
If I’m real
What is abundance
Derealisation
Cope with the meditation
But that can only do so much
When the damage they dealt is already done